I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
