Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
