also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm getting married
To pizza
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
