Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
