i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Watching her eat just hurts me
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize