Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
