so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
