Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
