is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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