its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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