please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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