giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
