Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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