roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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