so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
