I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
