hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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