hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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