Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
