is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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