guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
