found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
