honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
