Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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