party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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