all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
