love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
