Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
