Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Come see our sink grown plant.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
