Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
