my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
