Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
