Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
