What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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