So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
