best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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