And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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