make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
