I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
