I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
