things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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