dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
