Do you still have your period?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
