dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
