Barsexuality is the new black.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
