You smell like stripper and shame
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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