He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
