Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
