We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
