I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
