he looks like a really good dad on facebook
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
