Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
