Me too!
I cockslap morals
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
